"Worry less, live more!"

If you get invited to go and give a talk at one of your favourite health spas with dinner, bed, breakfast and full use of the spa facilites thrown in, you jump at it! Well, in my case, swim at it! I now visit Champneys at Henlow Grange about once a fortnight to stun my ever refreshed audience there with tips for reducing anxiety.

The point is these people have gone to Champneys for a reason. They are usually worn out by their activity on the hamster wheel of life, fed-up to here (chest-height and also swimming bath height) with work, work, work, and domestic chores, demanding children, shopping, couch potato husbands, the hoover breaking down, the car fuel tank being empty (yet again) - you know how it is, they just have to drop everything and take a break in a peaceful, quiet, calm setting, where they can be pampered and sleep, sleep sleep, until going back to the real world.

Sigh! After a long day of relaxing and a delicious (but healthy of course) dinner, what do they want to do? Go to the bar - there isn't one! It's a choice between going to bed and watching the telly, or coming to listen to me - well, those who still have energy left at 9pm. Neeless to say, these people are looking forward to changing their entire life in an hour.

I can't promise to do that but we have a very interesting discussion about some of the main reasons we worry and how to put things back into perspective. For example, we are socialized to be perfect in everything we do these days, so the more we do, the more perfect we have to be. If we can't achieve top marks in all areas, we let ourselves down, we try again, we try harder, and worry far too much. Our society is so achievement based that we can't see beyond getting it all 100% right. And we need the approval of those around us, be it partners, colleagues, bosses, even our children. This need starts at school and doesn't stop in the world of work.

Another thing which makes us worry far too much is when we feel the need to control everything going on in our lives. If we lose control, or feel we have lost it, this makes us very anxious. I know myself that getting organized is vital for a busy woman, but when does good organization become control?

Enough said for now. I would love to hear other people's views on these two reasons for anxiety. Do you think we have become a perfectionist society? Are we more obsessed with controlling our lives than letting things go? Tomorrow I will talk about mindfulness, something which helps me put balance back into my life.