The new film, "The KIng's Speech" is a delight to watch and also a stunning piece of social history. It also brings home to the audience how very difficult it is to speak with a stammer. This morning on BBC Breakfast television, the Chair of the British Stammering Association, Leys Geddes, came to speak about the film and its influence on the British public. What struck me again (as I have written about this before) was how we, as a society, expect everyone to get their message across in double quick time. We are so used to high-speed communication that we interrupt if we are not receiving information quickly enough to suit our multi-tasking world!
I am sure everyone watching Breakfast noticed how the presenters just had to slow down, they had to be patient and wait for Leys to finish his sentences. Otherwise they would have been seen as very insensitive and over bearing. Perhaps people with stammers can teach the rest of us to savour each word we hear, to listen without interrupting before the end of a sentence, to wait patiently for the end of a phrase and to reflect on what they hear. These are things we seem to find difficult, possibly untenable, particularly in business. Think about your conduct on the phone: if there is a silence for more than a millisecond you feel the need to fill it, and a sentence is hardly finished before the interlocator (good word that!) intercepts with their contribution to the conversation.
I hope "The King's Speech" does indeed bring attention to people who stammer, and perhaps allow them a stronger voice. It is only by listening completely and effectively that we can ever hope to understand others.
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I heard some discussion on R4 too, not realising it was a new film. It was so sad to hear such a lovely and great man sound so terrified at the prospect of delivering a speech. The efforts he went to, so much rehearsal and training ... how i feel for him.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend with a brilliantly imaginative mind, a counsellor, who is severely dyslexic. She used to take days to write an email to me i eventually learned. I felt so humbled and admiring of all that effort, just to share with others, and not be isolated. I'm sure she channels this, with her clients, REALLY knows how to listen, the value of that.
You make such a good case for offering grace and respect for our fellows. If they felt moved enough to want to tell us their mind. We could at least 'accept' them, offer our ear and not grab at meaning like a gull with a chip.
The much quoted "seek to understand, before expecting to be understood" also comes to mind.
There are many that are frightened of silences, pauses, or long breaths ... but most enigmatic and effective speakers build their energy with them, add gravitas.
Also, lets not pepper the air with mis-aimed word-shot, both barrels let go to frighten off any thing worthwhile, taking to the air in fright.
Their is much to be heard, between the word.
Great post Sally and having seen the film, I can also highly recommend it. Silence....ugh -how we hate that word, or rather the resultant space it creates in our busy busy world. But lets remind ourselves that its only in our western societies that it is viewed this way. For example, silence is desirable and welcomed in many Asian countries and the use of too many words does not engender trust. Silence in these cultures is an important tool for communication and the use of it conveys reflection, depth of thought and sincerity. Those of us living in a time-poor society would do well to remind ourselves of this. Nicky.guard@googlemail.com
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